Let’s Leave Together
I watched a documentary about crimes in Brazil last week with a high expectation that I would learn more about current situation. The film seemed to be promising at first but turned into a sleep inducer. I couldn’t see some of the sub-titles because apparently the film producer/distributor thought that white texts would look great on a white/yellow background. I dozed off for a few minutes and wanted to leave but soon decided to stick out to the end for two reasons: no matter how boring, this film would provide me some tidbits of facts about Brazil. While slouching on my seat, I wondered if anybody shared the same sentiment. But everybody appeared to be focused on the movie.
Then it happened. One guy got of his seat and left. Bravo to this initiative man! Within less than a minute, a second person followed. Then a group of three and four joined the deserters. This abandonment took place for about 20 minutes before the movie theater regained the calmness.
I found it interesting. I bet many in the audience thought about leaving, but none took the initiative and left. The mini exodus only took place after the act of the first man. I also noticed that most of the people who walked out were sitting on the back seats where they could see those who left before. Almost everybody who was in front stayed until the end of the movie.
I wondered why?
- Maybe these front-rowers liked the film.
- They didn’t want to look too conspicuous to others by leaving. People tend not to do some thing if all eyes are on them.
- Or they never saw the people who left, thus not affected by this herding behavior.
An Almost Murder – What Does A Deer Have To Do With It?
Okay, no more internet biz, no more blog, I will now write whatever I like.
Two years ago, I drove along a narrow two-lane highway on my way to work. As I approached near a curve, I saw a deer standing on the bicycle-lane roughly 20 meters away. He (*) already had one leg out on my lane. For some reason, I didn’t break nor slow down. I insisted that the deer would be frightened by human sight and loud noises and back into the grass or sprint quickly to the other side like dogs and cats. When I got nearer, I started slowing down a little waiting for the deer to get out of my way. But as the car inched closer, my deer calmly began to cross the street. Then I realized I had met a deer which either blind, deaf, disobedient or careless as hell. I swerved my steering wheel to the left lane. Not enough, I went off completely to the other side, luckily there was no car heading on the opposite direction. The closer I was and the more I tried to avoid the deer, the faster it approached my car. Finally, the deer jumped and crashed on the passenger side of my car. I screamed “Ahhhhhhhhhhhh” …. in my head and worried sick that I had murdered the deer. After regaining my composure, I glanced at the rearview mirror and saw the same deer standing on the other side of the road.
Phew!
Driving off for another five minutes, I sighted “Aha.” The deer was neither careless as hell, disobedient, blind nor deaf and didn’t know how to avoid my car. It was me and my human conditioned thinking. Being human and had been interacting with them all my life, I used the human approach to the deer, hoping it would “behave” in a human manner with me. Dangerous! This falsehood almost got the deer killed and/or me into a car accident.
So you see. Being and thinking like human is not always a good idea.
(*) I assume it was a he ’cause I was taught that when we weren’t clear about the gender, then we should assume “male.” If this isn’t true then don’t sue me for being an animal sexist.
Should I get angry?
According to a post from World Psychology:
Anger is often viewed as a completely negative emotion. However, there are several benefits we get from feeling anger such as:
- Motivation to attack when under threat
- Increased energy and vigor
- Motivation to communicate displeasure
So it is perfectly OK to get angry or really angry in certain situation. It is better not to bottle up anger inside since once released (it gets to release somehow), the suppressed anger can be damaging.
How about traditional Asian culture where ones are taught to refrain from expressing themselves? I bet anger is high on this not-to-show-emotion list.
77 ways to beat burnout
In the past, I had a tendency to burn myself out completely. I had a huge problem with taking small breaks here and there and removed myself from working or school environment even when those environments became detrimental to my well-beings. Guess, people have to grow and learn the hard way. It was horrible the burnout feeling as I knew not what the heck was wrong with me. Plus, I had an Asian upbringing which emphasized on being persistence and not quitting in any circumstances. But I never learned when to quit. Once I did, sometimes I quitted a bit early.
I think we should learn to recognize the signs of burning out or, better yet, to prevent burning out at all cost.
Here is 77 ways to avoid them. I checked myself in many of those items.
Abraham Maslow’s Self Actualized Individuals
Hierarchy of needs
Intro
Link to the audio: http://www.learnoutloud.com/podcasts/Maslow.mp3
Through thinkarete.com, I recently discovered learnoutloud.com , an online collection of educational audio and videos. I downloaded some free mp3, most of which were notes compiled by Brian Johnson, founder of thinkarete.com.
These audio notes provide precise summaries for fairly complicate topics in a variety of categories.
My note
-Abraham Maslow is known for his “Hierarchy of needs”
-One of a few modern psychologists who focus on “positive” instead of “negative psychology.
-He spends his life studying human motivation, to understand great people, the best specimen of man-kind.
-Coined the term “Self Actualization”
-This audio covers a chapter in one of his book: Profile the characteristic of self-actualizing individuals.
-Quote: What one can be, one must be
-Advocate True to own nature-> self-actualization
Characteristics of self-actualized individuals
1. Perception of reality: judge people correctly and sufficiently, unfrightened by the unknown, like ambiguity.
2. Acceptance: lack of defensiveness, distaste for pretentious people. bothered by laziness, thoughtlessness, jealousy, prejudice.
3. Spontaneity: unconventional, motivated by character growth.
4. Have a mission in life: focus on problem outside of themselves. good of humanity in general.
5. Solitude: greater degree than the average person. ability to intensely concentrate => absent mindedness. Self-starter.
6. Autonomy: independent of others’ opinions.
7. Fresh appreciation: appreciate the basic goods in life.
8. Peak experience (flow, being in the zone)
9. Human kinship: sympathy and affection for human in general, genuine desire to help the human race.
10.Humility and respect: be friends with anyone regardless, not aware of the differences which obvious to average people.
11.Interpersonal relationship: deep ties with few individuals, small circle of friends.
12.Ethics: fixed on END rather than MEANS.
13.Humor: do not laugh at hostile, superior humor. their humor cannot be repeated.
14.Creativeness: universal trait. similar to children. less inhibited, less bounded, more natural, more human.
15.Resistance to enculturation: do not identify with the culture. keep inner detachment from their cultures. ruled by laws of own characters, not by society.
16.Imperfection: some seem silly, lazy, boring, irritating, depressed, cruel, heartless.
17.Values: acceptance of self. enjoy differences than fear them.
18.Resolution of dichotomy(two opposites): social and individualistic, mature and childlike, ethical and atheist, animal.
Does being a self-actulized person important?
Cna yuo raed tihs?
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit apboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it.Research.
I think this is the reason why people make many spelling errors since it is easy to overlook a few misspelled letters here and there when they can actually read an entire chaotic paragraph with relative ease. I am not a native speaker of English, but I have no problem at all reading the above paragraph.
Source from thanhda.com
Categories: psychology, research
How ‘daddy’ affects your job?
According to Stephen Poulter, the author of "The Father Factor", there are five styles of fathers — super-achieving, time bomb, passive, absent and compassionate/mentor — who have powerful influences on the careers of their sons and daughters. Children of the "time-bomb" father, for example, who explodes in anger at his family, learn how to read people and their moods. Those intuitive abilities make them good at such jobs as personnel managers or negotiators, he writes. But these children may have trouble feeling safe and developing trust, said Poulter, a clinical psychologist who also works with adolescents in Los Angeles area schools.
I've always told my friends that the causes of a matter run deep, much deeper than they think. I often use a similar technique:
1. Think about what happened during the day
2. Think about what happened yesterday
3. Think about last week, last month, last year.
5. Think about the time when you were young.
….
x. Remember when you were a little kid.
"Often we understand and re-discover the root of the problem if we trace far enough," I said, but only few people believed it. I took a Scientology course which had a section emphasizing Question/Answer called Dianetics. The questioner has a list of questions to ask the questionee e.g.
Questioner: Can you recall the first time you X certain Y?
Questionee: [Answer] Questioner:
Can you describe the Z?
Questionee: [Answer]
(X: action, Y: event, Z: one of the five senses)
I believe that this line of questioning is to lead the questionees to a point of comfortness where then they will feel comfortable enough to say whatever on their minds. "The first time" phrase forces them to remember thing happened long ago in the past.
What will it be to work only four days a week?
“Four-Day Week challenge” article
The shorter-work week discussed in this article is not new. I sorta figured it out some years ago that I tended to drag things out if I knew I’d have more time. I even told a typical American workaholic friend of mine, “why don’t you go home and work less. If you have 8 days a week, you will tend to spread things out.” However he replied to me, “no, if I had 8 days a week, I would work exactly 8 days a week.” I believed him.
Still, there are many of us who don’t have this single-minded, all-work-and-no-fun mentality and might be benefited from the 4-Day week working habit. Same goes for me, especially since I have a scattered-brain and get anxious staying in the office for long hours unless I enjoy my work.
Tips to be more efficient
1. Avoid using instant messaging: It’s a constant source of distraction.
2. Only check your e-mail twice a day: The surest way to waste time is the ol’ Send and Receive button.
3. Stick to what matters: Take care of the most important stuff first. Don’t waste time on low-priority stuff. (In fact, delete the low priority stuff from your to-do list. It’s not going to get done anyway!).
4. Ask for alone time: If you need uninterrupted time to get something done, politely notify your co-workers that you’ll be unavailable for a couple of hours.
5. Limit blog-reading time: Set a time limit on your blog reading. If you don’t get through all your blogs in that amount of time, hit the trusty “Mark All As Read” button and move on.
6. Make lists: Write a “to do” list for each day (on paper if you can bear to tear yourself away from Outlook). Put the time-sensitive stuff at the top and be realistic. Choose three time-intensive things to do and five quick things to do. Make sure you finish all of them before you leave in the evening.
7. Restrict meetings: If you can, restrict the amount of meetings you call, or are involved in. Meetings drag on and can eat into your day. Instead aim for one or two meetings per week and plan them carefully to ensure you cover all important topics and keep on track.
“Right-Brained Children in a Left-Brained World”, which side are you?
Categories: psychology, self-development, books
This book seems to be interesting. Already on my to-read list.
Left Brain – Right Brain: do you think that your brain is one big chunk?
This theory of the structure and functions of the mind suggests that the two different sides of the brain control two different "modes" of thinking. It also suggests that each of us prefers one mode over the other.
| Left Brain | Right Brain |
|---|---|
| Logical | Intuitive |
| Sequential | Random |
| Linear | Holistic |
| Analytical, concrete | Synthesizing, symbolic |
| Objective | Subjective |
| Verbal | Non verbal |
| Reality-based | Fantasy-based |
Characteristics
| Left | Right |
|---|---|
| Prefer Classical Music Your Left-Brain controls the right side of your bodyPrefer things like instructions to be done verbally Good at math Like to read Follow Western Thought* Very Logical Dog lovers Don't enjoy clowning around Can't be hypnotized Usually remember things only specifically studied Need total quiet to read or study Like to read realistic stories Like to write non-fiction Prefer individual counseling Enjoy copying or tracing pictures and filling in details Also like to read action stories Usually rational Usually do things in a planned orderly way If you have to answer someone's question, you won't let your peronal feelings get in the way Good at algebra Can remember verbal material Almost never absent minded Like to tell stories but not act them out Can think better sitting down Like to be a music critic Attentive during long verbal explanations Prefer well structured assignments over open ended ones Read for specific details and facts Skilled at sequencing ideas Likes to be Organized |
Prefer rock musicRight brain controls left side of body
Prefer visual instructions with examples Good at sports Good at art Follow Eastern thought* Cat lovers Enjoy clowning around Can be hypnotized Like to read fantasy and mystery stories Can listen to music or TV while studying Like to write fiction Prefer group Fun to dream about things that will probably never happen Enjoy making up own drawings and images Good at geometry Like organizing things to show relation Can memorize music Occasionally absentminded Like to act out stories Enjoy interacting affectively with others Think better when lying down Become restless during long verbal explanations Enjoy creative storytelling Prefer to learn through free exploration Good at recalling spatial imagery Read for main details Skilled in showing relationships between ideas Preference for summarizing over outlining Solve problems intuitively Very Spontaneous and unpredictable Dreamer philosophical |
Common occupation
| Left | Right |
|---|---|
| Lab scientistBanker
Judge Lawyer Mathematician Bacteriologist Librarian Skating judge, skiing judge, etc., |
Forest rangerWildlife manager
Beautician Politician Athlete Artist Craftsman Actor/Actress |
