Article: Is it a Cheetah ?
Full article here
In this article, Stephanie Tolan discusses about gifted children are overlooked in traditional schooling system and how that affects them when they grow older.
6.28.05
Psychology : Helping the shy child
A summary from a video on msn.com
Case studies:
Case 1: Kate, a bright, artistic, who is at 4, stops heeding adults. Mom is very frustrated until Kate is diagnosed with selective mutism.
Symptom: not saying hello, putting head down resulting in mommy pushes her b/c frustrated with the kid even though mom doesn’t want to.
After the diagnosis, Kate now gets coping therapy.
Coping skill in a specific situation: Imagine the waiter wearing funny clothing and add humor into situation. After that Kate goes to restaurant and able to order the food for herself.
Case 2: Barbara Markway, a psychologist, Ph.D
Used to be the kid who stayed in the back of the class, never said anything, never raised hand. “It was hard for because everybody wants you be someone you are not, to do more, and to be more.”
Wrote the book “nurturing the shy child” with husband, a fellow psychologist.
Statistics
10%-15% kindergarten to 8th grade: shy
25%: very outgoing
rest: somewhere in between
The American culture values outgoing and extravert so it’s difficult for the 10 to 15 percent not to think, “it’s not cool to be shy.” Shy kids tend to be thoughtful, good listener, and possess a lot of other gifts
Interview with psychologist Donna Pincus, a director of Children and Adolescent Fear and Anxiety Treatment program at Boston University.
Where shyness comes from:
- Biological (burned with shy temperament e.g. having shy parents)
- Environmental (learn from parents, how they interact with children)
There is no cure for shyness therefore parents don’t have to overreact, punish nor push them making them feel upset and not feeling supportive.
It can be very frustrating for outgoing parents who have shy children because� Why can’t I have an outgoing child, I’m going.”
Survey question: If the child decides at the last minute not to go to a birthday party, what will you do?
Result:
28%: insist they go
6 %: let them stay home
66%: persuade and let them make decision
However, the psychologist suggests to know more why they don’t want to go and do small steps: set up play date with the other kid who has the birthday party before the date…)
For the 28%, the next time the kids will be dreaded of going even more because it is against their will.
Help for the shy
- Don’t label (saying “you are the shy child” => the child internalizes that “it’s who I am” and never will change or hard to change)
- Stay positive (avoid saying “you’re never going to have any friend if not going)
- Listen to the shy child (normally parents don’t listen anyway)
- Set small goals (in the case the child refuses to join a league, so he/she doesn’t have to join for now but parents encourage him/her to go watch)
- Give kids coping skills (breathing, relaxing, write journal, talk to self in a positive way…)
www.childanxiety.net
Psychology : Overcoming procrastination
This entry is a summary of a video I watched on msn.com
there are 20% of the American population who are chronic procrastinator, so it’s a bit safe not to be critical at yourselves with the damaging thought that you are the only one.
Everybody procrastinates but chronic tend to procrastinate in every aspect of life: relationship, work, and money driving others and themselves crazy. (Ooh I’m absolutely agree)
Feeling: anxious and guilty
Side-effect: run-down, cold, not sleep well
Causes: Fear holding you back
- Fear of failure (the perfectionist who is afraid of trying and then fails therefore why do it anyway)
- Fear of success (not deserving good things, afraid of being envied by others if stand out, rejected by people if success)
- Fear of intimacy
- Fear of boredom (to enjoy the risk and the drama)
- Fear of rules (those who grew up from an authoritarian home, therefore not make and follow rules because that was what mom/dad did)
-> Understand what you are afraid of, what category to fit it
Tips to avoid procrastination (behavioral adjust)
- Prioritize
- Control impulse (impulse = intensity but not get anything done)
- Don’t expect overnight success
Look at particular task
- Think about what I will get out of that
- I get to be the victim
- I don’t have to interact with so and so
- I’m pissed of someone and don’t want to say it
- Figure out and move on
- No need for extra grief
Take care of business = take care of yourself
6.18.05
More tests
Two years ago, I took the Meyers-Briggs personality test and was typed as INFP, with dominant I and F. Now, I think I balance the E and I, and dominant in the remain three letters.
Almost everybody who knew me said that I've changed drastically over the years, which made sense at first. However, the book "Now, Discover Your Strength" explains this change in a more agreeble way. I haven't changed really; for the past two years, I discovered my core values and the glimpse of my personality after 23 years living with a vanishing self and have conducted myself accordingly. I am just different from the "false" self I projected out to the world.
My life up until this point has been about doing damage control, working on my weakness, focusing on my flaws instead of building upon my strengths.
This isn't how we should live our lives, no matter what people say. 20 plus years is quite a long time. I must put a stop to this, otherwise how can I make anything meaningful out of this life carrying on a unauthentic self.
The Birkman Method
http://www.princetonreview.com/cte/quiz/default.asp?menuID=0&careers=6
Foundation colors
1. Blue : Arts, Social Service – Strategy (long-term-innovative)
2. Green :Marketing, Sales – Communication (promotional , people)
3. Red : Operations, Science – Practicality (shorterm – tangible)
4. Yellow : Finance, Administration – System (procedural, detail)
People with blue Interests like job responsibilities and occupations that involve creative, humanistic, thoughtful, and quiet types of activities. Blue Interests include abstracting, theorizing, designing, writing, reflecting, and originating, which often lead to work in editing, teaching, composing, inventing, mediating, clergy, and writing.
People with blue styles prefer to perform their job responsibilities in a manner that is supportive and helpful to others with a minimum of confrontation. They prefer to work where they have time to think things through before acting. People with blue style tend to be insightful, reflective, selectively sociable, creative, thoughtful, emotional, imaginative, and sensitive. Usually they thrive in a cutting edge, informally paced, future-oriented environment. You will want to choose a work environment or career path in which your style is welcomed and produces results.
Gallup StrengthFinder
My five themes
Ideation : Fascinate by ideas. See connection among different phenomena
Input : Collect all kinds of information
Deliberate : Serious in making decisions or choices. Anticipate obstacles
Restorative : Figure out what is wrong and solve it
Intellection : Instrospective and appreciate intellectual discussion
6.9.95
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